I’ve been totally unmotivated the last few weeks. Who knew it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise? I certainly didn’t, but let me tell you what’s going on….I think my tailbone issue may be starting to budge.
After 6 months of tailbone pain – I had a day yesterday where I could actually stand and not suck air and catch my breath standing up from a seated position. I only “hurt” on standing. Now, that may sound funny – but for 6 solid months, getting out of a car has been excruciating, and standing from a seated position on my rocking chair or kitchen chair has been downright painful! Like, holy crap that hurt kind of pain.
Then yesterday when I went to get out of the car, I was like, gee that hurt, but didn’t suck air. Last night getting up from my chair, anticipating the shock that comes from getting up, I was pleasantly surprised to get an “ouch that hurt” not a “Dear GOD, help me now” feeling.
So on that note, I’m going to not do anything for a little longer and see if I can heal this bad boy once and for all.
I took a spill down the stairs in January, and it’s been 6 LONG months! During that time though, I ran in 3 half marathons, and continued to train, walk, run, you name it….just haven’t stopped. I’m stopping for another week or so, and if it helps, another 2 weeks. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to my training in July since I have 2 more halves coming up in the fall – but for now – the word of the day is REST!
Woohoo, my REAR END may be on the mend!
Congratulations to the “Two Gomers” — they completed their first marathon this weekend! I just wanted to send a hearty WAY TO GO GUYS their way. If you haven’t listened to their podcast yet, what are you waiting for?
Yes, I’ve lost my first toenail….and here’s what it looks like. I took a picture for you, since I’m a geek like that! Anyway, I’m minding my own business and bump into the dog food bag as I’m feeding our dogs. Hey, what’s up with that? Felt a tiny tender, almost like the start of an ingrown toenail or something – so I bend down to check it, and notice the corner lifts up and next thing I know the entire thing comes off! It wasn’t even connected, it was just along for the ride apparently….nice, freeloader.
Anyway, I was so happy there was ZERO pain involved, because it sort of freaked me out. I was like…what the heck just happened? That happens to other people, not me. Other runners do “serious” mileage, and I’m closer to slacker territory when it comes to running lately.
My shoes fit great, most the time you see “upsize your shoes”, etc…not my problem. I wear men’s for my wide feet and upsized a tiny, I love my shoes and they fit perfectly….my issue came from running downhills. How do I know? I remember the sensation of a “bruised” feeling on my toe after some mondo, steep downhills during one of my races. Guess that tiny iota you slide in your shoes on downhills had an impact.
So there she is in all her glory – telling me – “You’re a runner”….how cool is that? I’m a runner after all.
I’m afraid if I stop, I’ll just sit down and do nothing. I do nothing really well. I’ve had a lot of time and experience doing nothing. It’s a struggle to keep moving. I read or hear about people loving exercise, loving running, loving it all….each and every single time I move – I have to talk myself into it. I thought after enough time – the “sparkly, loving feeling” would kick in. Yeah – not so much.
It’s okay, I know to keep moving because my body is seeing the rewards. Inside my body and outside of my body there are good, healthy changes happening. I need to keep going – I still have a long way to go. Maybe after 2 years or 3 years I’ll get that “love of exercise” feeling – and if it doesn’t come, I’ll know what I’m doing is still worth it.
I signed up for another half in November. That means I am doing a half marathon in October, and then another a few weeks later – AGAIN – voluntarily in November. Why did I go looking for more? What is wrong with me? Why do I want to keep going when it doesn’t even feel that great? Well…finishing something that big – 13 miles in a race feels AMAZING, even if the training isn’t all that much fun. It tickles something inside of me – that ME, even with my age, my size, my shape, and even coming in last place over and over again – it feels AMAZING. I think it’s pride. Pride feels pretty damn good!
Either way, I’m not giving up yet, in fact I have a goal to get better….that’s my plan, get better one minute at a time. I’m in no hurry. I have 2 more half marathons planned for this year, and 3 for next year. I just want to improve a little bit at a time. It’s sort of like golf, you’re playing against yourself really – to improve your own game.
I guess there is challenge without disappointment. Even coming in last place, I feel great because I did it. If I can beat my last time be even a minute, it’s a reward, so I can try at my pace, and come out feeling okay either way. Maybe that’s it – I like the challenge. Don’t know….but I’m hanging in there – because I have the desire to keep going for now….so that’s what I’ll do – KEEP GOING!