Standing Out in a Crowd

In my brain most runners at a race look like this:

I feel like this:

…and regardless, we all are like this at the end:

I’ve always felt like I stand out when we line up at a start line. My running group has taught me that it doesn’t matter if I’m slow or if I’m more round than I am lean – it’s having the goal of improving yourself and reaching out, and finishing it that really matters. We all cross the same finish line. I love my running group. They’ve changed me in so many ways that are valuable to my self-worth and I can’t thank them enough for that.

I’ve restarted my C25k program again. I’m on week 3. I also started doing some weights with a program that I am liking very much recently. I’m breathing normally, no respiratory issues. I kept waiting for it to happen, but now that the BP meds are out of my body, it’s a non-issue. I’m so happy and relieved. This means I can and will rebuild that endurance again!

Here’s the thing – after having a bought with adrenal issues, then respiratory issues, I was feeling pretty down. I once had endurance and it was all gone, lost, finished – I had nothing left. I was left sitting on the sidelines of “you’ll get there again” encouragement.

I wasn’t so sure. I thought maybe I’d had my time in the sun and it wasn’t going to happen again. A funny thing happened on the way – I stuck around my running group regardless of the changes going on. I felt inspired, encouraged, motivated by watching OTHERS achieve what they were setting out for. I decided it was going to happen again, and I was going to make it happen again.

I signed up for some weight lifting for some cross-training, and I got back on my handy/dandy treadmill, in my happily climate controlled dining room and gave it a go. Guess what, it is clicking back in place, and I am going to be able to go forward and build my endurance again. It was my mind holding me back recently, but now that I’m moving again I feel so much better.

I’m not any faster, and I’m okay with that. I’m a little bit rounder and I’m not okay with that, so I’m working on it. What I do know is that as I rebuild my endurance and get myself “half marathon” ready again, I’ll get there not only by my own physical means, but also by the strength that my running group offers me.

I’m ready to run baby!